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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25692601">Concede Thy Absolution</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/remarkable1/pseuds/remarkable1'>remarkable1</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Apologies, Background Relationships, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Angst, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Crossover, Family Feels, Feelings, Forgiveness, Grieving, Magical Accidents, Men Crying, Not scary, Other, Regret, Reunions, Sadness, Self-Doubt, Sentimental, alternative universe, graveyard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:20:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,242</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25692601</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/remarkable1/pseuds/remarkable1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Two Men. A single past. One has moved on, one lives with his guilt. Can they make amends or more importantly, can one help the other forgive himself?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nick Fury &amp; Kingsley Shacklebolt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Cast the Dice 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Concede Thy Absolution</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>*M rating is for swearing only, for Nick Fury's use of the word Mother ******</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In all of his adult life and many years in the service of SHIELD, Nicholas Fury had done everything in his power to avoid this very moment.</p><p>It wasn’t that he hadn’t wanted to visit. On the contrary, he wanted it more than anything and secretly despised the weak part of him that just couldn’t face them. Only one other person knew of his secret shame.</p><p>That other person stood in front of two graves, hands clasped together, head bowed in respect.</p><p>Even from a distance, Fury could tell the other man had brought the large wreath and vase that was laid against a headstone. They were fresh, the ribbons curling neatly, and a small balloon waved in the gentle spring breeze.</p><p>Frozen to the spot, Nick almost turned on heel to leave. <i>I’ll come back later,</i> the Director lied to himself. <i>Just not today.</i></p><p>As if sensing his anxious thoughts, the other man’s head snapped up, the purples robes fluttering about him almost majestically. Although he wore that same ridiculous hat on his head as he had when they were much younger, it somehow made his not-so-little brother look majestic, regal, with an air of authority.</p><p><i>I could have had that,</i> Fury’s traitorous thoughts whispered. <i>I could have had that life. I turned my back on it. Damnit!</i> Shaking them away angrily, he refused to back down now that Kingsley has seen him. </p><p>Kingsley had vowed never to let his brother run away, ever again. It was part of why he was here, as he had been every year on the anniversary of their parents’ deaths.</p><p>“Ah. Brother. I was hoping I would run into you here one of these years.”</p><p>Holding out his arms, ever the gracious one, he waited for Nick to embrace him, only to be disappointed when the distance between them – always between them – was kept; cold, a solid-like a wall of impenetrable ice.</p><p>Nick’s one eye glared at Kingsley.</p><p>Impassively, Kings dropped his arms, the robes flowing like silk as he walked toward his older brother.</p><p>“If you’ve come looking for an apology, you had it a very long time ago.”</p><p>Confused, Nick frowned, thinking back. Remembering suddenly, he instinctively reached up to his face, running fingertips over his eye patch. “What, this? We were kids. There’s nothing to forgive. We were being stupid. Momma always did say we’d put an eye out with our wands.”</p><p>They chuckled together, and some of the ice seemed to melt between them.</p><p>Kingsley indicated Nick pass him by to pay his respects.</p><p>“Shall I leave you be, then?” he asked carefully. Although he desperately missed his American brother, Kingsley didn’t want to drive him off by being overly-friendly. The once-jovial boy he had known had clearly grown into a hardened man, and a dangerous one.</p><p>“No. That isn’t necessary. We’re both here for the same reason.”</p><p>“Indeed, we are. Perhaps more than that, perhaps not.”</p><p>Head bowed again, Nick narrowed his eye and shot a sharp glance over. “What in the hell is that supposed to mean?”</p><p>Tsking under his breath, Kingsley replied, “I meant nothing at all. I see your sensitivity over the matter has only festered and grown.”</p><p>“Quit talking in circles. Say what you mean and mean what you say.”</p><p>“As Father always said,” Kingsley finished.</p><p>Full circle. They had come full circle.</p><p>“How long have you been here?” Nick ventured, hesitantly, wondering if Kingsley had coincidentally arrived at the same time or had been waiting for Nick.</p><p>“Oh, I make a short holiday of it. You know, bring a camper, a few friends.”</p><p>“Are you fucking serious?” Nick growled, and Kingsley couldn’t help but throw his head back and laugh, rich, deep, holding his belly until he ran out of breath. “I don’t see what’s so funny,” Nick muttered, turning back to their parent’s side-by-side graves.</p><p>A little embarrassed again, although he had no reason to be self-conscious in front of the open-minded, easy-going Kingsley Shacklebolt, Fury pulled two sachets of flowers from an inner pocket, stepping forward and placing them on the headstone of each grave. He harrumphed a couple of times and angrily dashed away a couple of tears. </p><p>Kingsley waited. It would do Nicholas good to cleanse himself of this guilt. Their parents' deaths hadn’t been Nick’s fault entirely, although the older brother had blamed himself since that fateful day.</p><p>Just when Kings didn’t think his brother would follow through with amends, Nick turned sideways, not looking at Kingsley, and said, “I might as well get this over with.”</p><p>“As you wish. It’s always been your choice. You know I would never pressure or expect you to do this.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>A couple more minutes slid by while Nick fiddled with the buttons on his sports jacket.</p><p>“Aw, shit. Okay.”</p><p>Harrumphing again, he pulled a handkerchief out of his breast pocket and held it up to his nose, blowing hard. The tears ran down his face now, unchecked. It was only the second, and probably the last, time Kingsley figured he’d ever see his brother cry. That is if he even saw him again after today.</p><p>The brothers – well, Nicholas – had gone his own way by choice years ago and cut himself off from the family, denying his heritage and allowing his wand to be snapped. It still grieved Kingsley deeply, but there was nothing for it and no point in mourning what had already been and couldn’t be changed.</p><p>“Momma. Daddy. This has been a long time coming. I’m sorry I haven’t visited since the funeral. I – I -”</p><p>Kingsley waited patiently, politely not looking and moving a small distance away to give Nicholas a small fraction of privacy.</p><p>After a time, Nick started up again. “I’m sorry for everything. For how I acted and all the grief I caused you growing up. For running away from home. For being a stubborn sonofabitch.”</p><p>He chuckled and wiped his nose, blowing it again with the handkerchief. “Most of all, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you the day you died. I should have been. I know that. Instead, I had to go off on that little joyride with my friends, and you were forced to take the junker. Shit, I can still remember riding in the back of that old thing.”</p><p>Kingsley privately smiled. There were many fond memories of the old vehicles their Father had collected and worked on.</p><p>“I – I thought it would be funny to – to – aw, fuck.”</p><p>The tears started again, and this time, they didn’t stop. In a trice, Kingsley was at his brother’s side with open arms. This time, Nick didn’t hesitate to turn and bury his face in Kingsley’s shoulder, soaking the robes beneath. “I – I could’ve stopped it, Kings. I could have prevented the whole thing.”</p><p>“No. No, no, no, brother,” Kingsley comforted, patting Nick on the back. “Our fates are chosen long before we were born. I do not know why things have happened the way they did, but it wasn’t your fault.”</p><p>“Yes, it fucking was!” Nick shouted into the same shoulder, balling up his fists against Kings’ back.</p><p>“No. It was not. Until you forgive yourself, you will never heal. Mother and Father would have forgiven you immediately. They knew the risk they were taking when they drove the experimental model.”</p><p>“The charm wasn’t supposed to explode like that!” Nick raged against Kings.</p><p>“Magical accidents happened from time to time. That is what this was. You were only a boy – barely grown into a young man. It could have happened to anyone.”</p><p>“Yeah, but it didn’t, it happened to me!” Nick emphasized, pushing away from Kings now and folding his arms, dropping to his knees at the foot of their mother’s grave. “She was so beautiful, you know? Right at her prime. Shit. 
That woman was going places. Then my ungrateful black ass had to go and blow up the damn engine. Neither of them stood a chance to even cast a shielding spell.”</p><p>“Stop. Blaming. Yourself,” Kingsley insisted a little more vehemently, abandoning his prior intent not to interfere. It was breaking his heart to see Nicholas torment himself, twenty-five years on.</p><p>“I don’t know how,” Nick whispered, picking up a fistful of the loose soil and letting it run back down to the Earth. “I still remember throwing the first shovelful of dirt on her coffin. Did you know, the day before that all happened, Daddy told me they had a surprise planned for my birthday?”</p><p>“Yes. I found out later. It – it was unfortunate.”</p><p>“When I found out he was going to formally adopt me, I – fuck man, I just wanted to fucking die. That man meant everything to me. But I was so mad at him and Momma I just couldn’t see past my own nose. I had to retaliate, always get in the last word. How can I not blame myself, Kings? They’re dead because of me. That’ll never change.”</p><p>Kneeling beside him, Kingsley placed a hand on his brother’s knee. “Listen to me. Mother and Father are not lying in the earth beneath this soil. Their spirits have long moved on. They’re up there now, out there somewhere, and are grieving with you, wishing you would let this go so you can be happy.”</p><p>“I don’t know how,” Nick repeated, pounding the dirt with both fists. “Momma, Daddy, I’m so, so so sorry. Fuck!”</p><p>When the last round of tears had been shed, Kingsley helped Nick rise. Wiping his nose one last time on the handkerchief, he shoved it into a pocket and tentatively took the proffered hands his younger brother held out.</p><p>“Come back to England. Stay with us for a while. My wife will make all of your favorites. You can meet your nieces and nephew. We will be happy to have you.”</p><p>“I don’t belong there anymore. The day I left, abandoned the wizarding world, I no longer deserved a place in it.”</p><p>“Nonsense. That’s your stubborn pride talking again.”</p><p>Kingsley moved his head around, placing his hands on Nick’s shoulders until the older brother was forced to look at him eye to eye.</p><p>“There was a time I was furious. Angry with you, with Mother and Father for dying, for not getting the chance to spend time with them like you did. All of it seemed so unfair.”</p><p>Nick raised an eyebrow. There was always a moral to the story with Kings. “And then?”</p><p>Smiling a bit now, Kings went on, “And then I met my beautiful wife. She taught me how to forgive myself. Then our first child was born, and I learned what love really was. I realized that it did no good to stay angry at things I had no control over. I thought to myself, ‘would I forgive this child if the same thing happened to me?’ I realized, yes, without any hesitation, I would forgive my child for a foolish mistake. I would not want such a thing to come between us, here or in the afterlife.”</p><p>Nick was quiet for a while, his gaze flicking down at the ground then back up to Kings. “You really think Momma and Daddy would feel the same way?”</p><p>“I <i>know</i> they would,” Kings reassured him, pressing for emphasis on Nick’s shoulders before running his hands down his brother's arms and taking both hands in his again. Then, he looked at his own right index finger and pinky, and pulled away, keeping Nick in his line of sight while he tugged two rings off his hand.</p><p>“I want you to have these. I can see you are not ready to meet my family. I respect that. I think – no – I know Mother and Father would want you to have these.”</p><p>Quickly, Kings pressed them into Nick’s hand, closed his brother’s fingers around them, and then backed away swiftly, bowing his head.</p><p>Opening his hand in disbelief, Nick stared down at his palm and felt the waterworks threaten again. Their Mother and Father’s wedding rings.</p><p>By the time he looked up, Nick saw that Kings had produced a broom from somewhere and kicked off into the blue sky. Nick held his fist in the air, shaking it. “Motherfucker! I can’t accept these!”</p><p>“You can, and you will!” Kings shouted to him in return. “Consider it a token of faith, and remember what I have said! Forgive yourself, brother, and when you are ready, come meet the family! You are welcome anytime!” he finished, flying away so Nick couldn’t throw the rings, knowing his brother wouldn’t risk losing them.</p><p>“Damn him,” Nick muttered. He eyeballed the rings, then slipped his stepfather’s over his right index finger as Kingsley had, and his mother’s over his pinky. They fit perfectly. They may have had different fathers, but he and Kings were full brothers in every sense of the word.</p><p>With a wry smile, Nick looked up at the sky where Kings was a speck on the horizon, then back at his parent’s graves one last time. “Maybe I can forgive myself. Maybe he’s right, and you already have. Maybe one day. But not today.”</p><p>Kissing each ring, Nick Fury quietly said his goodbyes to his parents and strode back to his car. He had business to attend to in New York.</p><p>Already, he felt just a little bit lighter.</p><p>“Thanks, Kings,” he said softly as he got behind the wheel. “Thank you for everything.”</p>
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